When you get married, you are making a commitment to union, to joining your lives with one another. You make the commitment in front of your community, and their presence helps to make it so. You also make this commitment before God, so to speak. Whether you are in a temple, or a church, or you stand before a simple altar together, you invoke the presence of the highest; the marriage ceremony represents the depth to which your commitment is made.

When you make a commitment that is aligned with your deepest truth, you will be supported by all the power within you. There is an accompanying liveliness, an energy, an intelligent entity that is born. This entity is your love, made safe by the vessel, that has a place to resonate, to be alive. Your marriage becomes an entity unto itself. Your marriage is not a hollow vessel; it is a living temple.

You may discover over the course of your marriage that you actually are not as fully committed as you could be, that somewhere you have left an exit door unlocked or cracked open: “I am committed as long as it works out,” or, “Someday I may still meet my perfect mate.” Do you merely contribute something to the marriage, or do you give the marriage your all? Can you stand in resolute firmness and say, “I commit”? It’s okay if you cannot—it is simply an invitation to discover within yourself what it is that holds you back. In part, this could be because you have not deepened within yourself, you have not come to know that within the depths of your own being there are wounds, violations, betrayals, shadows, and perhaps lingering connections to old lovers that are entirely unconscious and that stand between you and your total commitment. Consider this to be an invitation to authentically explore yourselves more fully, to discover where you are each holding back. Let this be the start of a new conversation. The words of commitment themselves become tools to help you deepen and stand resolute in your path to union: “I am committed to make it work.” And “I fully commit myself to our journey, no matter where it leads.”

Next essay: Yama and Niyama

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