All cultures assign specific days of the year to celebrate and honor important events. These days are powerful, in part, because deep down in our social identity we collectively agree that they are so. But this collective consensus does not make them superficially contrived; the belief in the sacredness of holy days is intrinsic to being human, and our sense of meaning and belonging depends on honoring such days. Our observance of them reinforces a continuity that is passed down through the generations and that re-weaves the tenets of society.
In spiritual life we honor days throughout the wheel of the year that connect us to some important aspect of our tradition: Guru Purnima, Maha Shivaratri, Guru Jayanti, the anniversary of our diksha, and so forth. They serve to remind us of these important events and the forces that support our inner life. Commemorating them year after year reminds us of the ancient roots of these traditions.
So, too, with celebration days in your marriage: honor significant dates, such as the first time you met, your first date, maybe the day you moved in together, or the day you were engaged. Any significant moment will suffice. Do something special to celebrate; re-read your wedding vows every year on your wedding anniversary. It will remind you of the power that was awakened in the initial experience, and the depth of that moment. By making these relationship milestones your personal holidays you are emphasizing that these days are sacred.
Next essay: Keep a Sangham of Couples